The Diary of a Lover
by creddie cailey kogan supporter
Summary: The story of true love and what one Latino will do to make his happy ending...
1. Chapter 1

_The Diary of a Lover…_

**The tale of true love and the risks one Latino will go through just so he could have his happy ending…**

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><p><strong>Prologue:<strong>

There was always one name that will forever be embedded into my brain. The name of my one true love. _Jessica Wesly. _ I was never the same person when I first met her. She changed me. Changed my views on almost everything in life. Before I met her, I wasn't even sure I fully understood what it meant to love…My mom left me when I was seven…My dad is barely around…My older brother is off in the war…I was all alone…Luckily, three of my best friends were there for me…I guess it was kind of expected…We were like brothers…

Jessica was my everything. I don't know how I could possibly live without her. It's been exactly two years, eight months, and 19 days since she left me. I remember the day like it was yesterday. People always told me to move on. But I simply couldn't. How could you forget someone who is there for you? Jessica was there for me every single time I needed a shoulder to cry on. And I could always count on her to cheer me up if I was ever down. Which was often. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I just miss her that much. If only I had been there that night. The night that wasn't supposed to happen. How could I have been so stupid? Letting her run off like that… It was one stupid fight…

As I walk down the hallway towards a room across from my bedroom every night, I smile to myself. My pride and joy. My only son. Ricky didn't deserve any of this. He was only six years old. And he already has to learn how to live without his mommy there for him. I kiss his cheek ever night. "I love you my boy…" I whisper to him. As I shut the lights off in his room, I know I did a good job.

My life's mission was to be a father…I wanted to be a great role model like my dad was to me. I wanted to be the dad who would be there for his children, be there for every sporting event, every award ceremony, every breakup…I wanted my children to see me as someone who they could look up to. But I always thought that it would be a joint job between me and Jessica…Now I'm all alone…I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it…

Now here I am two years later, writing in this diary…I hope that one day, Ricky can read this…and he can see how amazing his mother was..He can learn what I felt like when I fell in love with her…He can truly understand the risks I went through just so me and his mom could be together… But in order for that to happen…I guess I would have to start at the very beginning.

_My name is Carlos Garcia…And this is my story…_

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><p><em><em>**AN: I know it's short but it is just an idea...anyways new chapter for this and new story tomorrow...perfect for valentines day...I have a poll up on my profile on which story I should produce next...I would love your input...Read and Review Plz? Virtual hugs for everyone :)  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**The Diary of a Lover **

_Chapter 1- The Freshman Heartbreak _

The first day of High School. A nightmare for every single 13 year old kid out there. I wasn't any different. I was scared to my wits about entering High School. I only had my three best friends. But High School was a place where a lot of changes were going to be happening. Everything happens in High School. My older brother told me, that he broke up with six girlfriends while he was in High School. That has got to be some record…Anyways I was walking towards the front of the school. Papi had just dropped me off in his police car and he was off. As I walked towards the building I noticed my three best friends already there. They lived a lot closer to the High School than me.

"Hey guys…" I greeted as I walked up to them.

"Would you look who it is…Back from the dead…" Logan joked.

"Oh come on Logie…But seriously dude where were you?" James laughed.

"I was in Mexico visiting my family…" I replied.

"So that's why you look like a piece of burnt toast…" Kendall commented.

"OK that was uncalled for…" Logan laughed.

"How was your summer?" I asked my friends.

"Well we pretty much hung out every day while you were gone…" James laughed.

"Really…How is it possible for ya'll to have fun without me?" I asked. "I'm half of the super party kings of Minnesota…" Carlos stated.

"Oh please you didn't miss that much…" Logan laughed.

"Are you kidding..Remember the house party that…" James was interrupted when Logan and Kendall whacked him at the back of the head.

"O.k. moving on…How are you guys not nervous about starting High School?" Carlos asked. "I'm shaking like a leaf…" Carlos said.

"We are nervous…" James said as the four of them picked up their schedules from the desk.

"I just hope that we have some classes or at least lunch together…" Logan said as he compared all four of their schedules.

"Oh darn it…We have nothing together…" Kendall sighed.

"This stinks…" I replied as I sulked.

"Hey we'll still meet up in front of the school…Besides I think it's good that we head off our different paths…We get to meet new people…" James replied.

"That is true…" Logan replied.

"Anyways hope to see you soon…" I replied as I pulled all four of my good friends into a tight group hug.

And as I sat in homeroom Science I noticed someone. She was the perfect angel. I had never seen anyone like her before. She seemed like she was created by the gods. I smiled to her as she made her way towards my table.

"Hi…do you mind if I sit here?" She asked me.

"No not at all…" I replied.

"My name is Jessica…" She smiled.

"I'm Carlos…" I smiled back. I knew that she was something. "I haven't seen you in town at all…Are you new here?"

"Yeah I just moved from New York…" Jessica replied.

"Why on earth would you move here for? This isn't the best place…" I laughed.

"My dad got a job promotion so he had to move his entire family out here…" She replied.

"Oh I see…You seem like a nice girl..." I smiled. "What other classes do you have?"

"I have Spanish, English, Geography, Gym, French, Geography, and Math…" She replied.

"Hey matching schedules!" I said happily.

"Great! I was afraid I wouldn't know anyone…" She smiled.

Our conversation was cut short as soon as the bell rang. A bunch of other students all flooded into the room. Of course the late comers would get in late. But can you blame them? This is the first day of school. As our science teacher walked into the room we all began to shut up. We were kind of intimidated of her. She was an elderly lady. And everyone knew that she must have been teaching here for a while. I sighed. This was going to get interesting…

As the day wore on, I really had no idea what I was worried about. High school was a great experience. As soon as me and Jessica walked into the cafeteria we tried out best to find our seats before they were taken.

"Wow…we really need to get here sooner…" Jessica sighed as she sat down across from me.

"Is it really our fault that our English class is on the other side of the school?" I laughed.

"I don't get why they didn't move us a lot closer towards the cafeteria…" Jessica laughed.

"How do you find High School so far?" I asked her.

"It's actually not that bad…" Jessica said. "Everyone makes it sound scary but as soon as you get into it, it isn't that bad…"

"So true…" I laughed.

Me and Jessica continued eating lunch together, and we continued our growing friendship. And she was like a sister to me. It wasn't before the day before we went for the Christmas break that I finally opened my eyes. I loved her.

"Hey Carlos!" Jessica yelled as she ran towards me.

"Hey Jess what's up?' I asked her.

"I wanted to give you this before you took off today…I know your family is going off to Mexico to see the rest of your family…" Jessica explained.

"Yeah…I really am gonna miss you…" I sighed as I hugged her. "Why couldn't my family live in America?" I sighed.

"Anyways…" She laughed. "I wanted to give you your Christmas gift…" Jessica smiled. "Promise me you won't open it until Christmas…" She said as she put a nicely wrapped package in my awaiting hands.

"Come with me…I need to give you your present but I forgot it in my locker…" I smiled.

I gave Jessica her nicely wrapped present. I also told her not to open it until Christmas. As I left the High School that afternoon I knew that I was going to miss her… And I did. Those two weeks away from her were like torture. I missed her more than I should have. That's exactly how I knew that I was in love with her. But I wouldn't be able to see her until I got back to school that Monday.

So I walked into school that Monday. And as I turned the corner I was met with a shocking sight. Jessica in a heated lip-lock with James. I couldn't believe it…I was only away for two weeks. How much happened since I left?

"What in the name of Mary and the entire Holy Family is going on here?" I asked.

"Oh Carlos…Your back…" Jessica said shocked.

"Of course I am…" I said. 'Now could you please explain to me what is going on here? Because the last time I checked you two weren't a couple…" I stated.

"Look we kinda hit it off at Kendall's New Years Party on Friday…" James explained.

"You understand don't you?" Jessica asked.

"Well if you two are happy…Then I guess I should be happy for you…" I said forcing a smile on my face.

"Thanks bud…" James said hugging me.

"Anyways we gotta go before the bell rings…" Jessica said bringing me out of my daze.

"Yeah…" I replied.

So for a while, I pretended to be happy for my two friends. But the truth was, the sight of them being all lovey was making me sick to my stomach. I felt so guilty. If I fell in love with her sooner, than she would for sure be with me. But I just had to realize it before it was too late.

And to make matters worse, Logan had gotten together with Camille Roberts. Who was his lab partner in Science. And I was pretty sure Kendall was close to convincing a girl named Jo Taylor to go out with him. I sighed. I was a total idiot…Who could ever love me?

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><p><strong>AN: So this story will be written in Carlos' POV...Think of these chapters like individual diary entries... and on the other hand, please vote on my poll on my profile page. The poll will remain open until <strong>**Sunday April 22nd at 9:00 AM and the winning story will be published that evening... I hope you all have a great week ahead, and review plz? **


	3. Chapter 3

The Diary of a Lover

_Chapter 2-A Miracle or a Curse? _

April 17th 2008. Come on Carlos. There is only one more month of school left. Then you don't have to keep seeing your best friend making out with your longtime crush forever. I told myself as I sat in the creative writing class. This was really the only class that had my interest. Turns out, I have really sick writing skills. I guess I was using all of that emotion that I kept bottled up inside and wrote stories to express my feelings. I looked up when I noticed that someone new walked into the classroom. I didn't recognize her before. I guess she just moved into town over the weekend. She took the seat beside me and I smiled.

"Your new here aren't you?" I asked her.

"Unfortunately…I'm Gisele by the way. Gisele Lopez…" She said sticking out her hand.

"I'm Carlos…" I smiled.

"How long have you been living here?" Gisele asked me.

"Oh I lived in Minnesota all my life…It may get cold most of the time, but other than that it's a great city to live in…" Carlos explained.

"Oh really? Seems like a small town to me…" Gisele explained.

"That's what's so great about it…" I explained. "Everyone knows everyone around here…and we always welcome new people…" I explained.

"I mean sure it is a big change from Chicago…but it's nice…" Gisele smiled.

"What do you say you hang out with me and the gang for lunch today? I could introduce you to everyone…I'm sure they would love a fresh new face to join our group…" I smiled.

"That's not such a bad idea considering I know absolutely nobody around here…" Gisele said while taking out a white notebook.

Turns out Gisele was a great girl. And I was absolutely right. The gang hand accepted Gisele easily. Pretty soon summer came along and me and Gisele hung out for most of it. Most of the time it was with everyone else, but sometimes it would just be the two of us. This leads me to the next adventure worth telling.

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><p>It was the middle of summer and me and the gang were on a camping trip with the Mitchell's. Jessica wasn't able to make it since she had laryngitis. James had offered to stay behind and keep her company. But she said that she didn't want to ruin the fun for him and promised him that she would call him if she was feeling worse. That made him feel a little better. He just hoped that she would feel better for their eight month anniversary. That shocked the heck out of everyone. Even me…Who would think that James Diamond the "ladies man" would be able to hold a relationship for eight months.<p>

"OK enough of these creepy ghost stories…" Logan said while Kendall was still rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter from scaring Logan with his ghost story.

"How about we play a camp fire game/" Gisele suggested.

"Like what?" Camille Roberts asked. She had gotten together with Logan the week before.

"I dunno…How about truth or dare?" Jo Taylor asked. Her and Kendall were still close but Kendall was not one to give up easily. He wanted Jo to get together with him and he was going to make sure that happened.

"Sounds interesting…But let's make it interesting…" James said.

"How?" I inquired.

"If you turn down a dare you have to run down to the forest and stay there for three full hours…" James smirked.

"But it's cold out there…And you could never know what is behind those bushes…" Logan said a little afraid of James' stipulation.

"Then I guess you won't have to turn down a dare…" I smirked. This was going to be way too easy.

"Fine…Let's just get this over with…"

So we continued with this game for about two hours. And so far no one turned down a dare. And there were some really embarrassing ones too. For example Logan was dared to go skinny dipping in the lake nearby for three whole minutes. I was surprised that he didn't turn it down. He really didn't want to spend time in the forest. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name called out.

"O.K. Carlos truth or dare…" Logan asked.

"Dare…" I stated. I was a daredevil… What can I say?

"OK…I dare you to kiss the person next to you for an entire minute…" Logan smirked.

I turned to look who sat beside me and I saw Gisele. Both of our eyes widened in shock, Kendall and James were both patting Logan on the back for giving me a tough dare. Those three got me really good. I really didn't want to ruin the friendship that me and Gisele had together.

"Well are you gonna do it? Or is our little daredevil chickening out?" Kendall teased.

"You seriously want me to do this?" I asked them.

"Um yeah…" The others replied. I turned to Gisele.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"It's just for one minute so I guess it should be fine… As long as we don't have feelings for each other after this kiss…" She added.

"Deal…" I added as I started to lean in. She met me halfway and the next thing you know…I was in heaven… I don't know if I should be feeling this way but this kiss kind of woke me up to new feelings I didn't even know I had… I was actually upset when we parted.

Everyone was staring at us in shock. James then informed me that we had been kissing for an entire five minutes. I was shocked that kiss lasted for that long. But I guess the both of us were caught in the moment to actually realize how long we have been kissing.

The next day when we were on our way home I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. That was when it ultimately hit me…I mean it all adds up now…I may have a little crush on Gisele. But what about my feelings for Jessica? Are these new feelings I have supposed to be a miracle because I'm moving on, or a curse because Jessica is still on my mind? I think I need to sleep on it…


	4. Chapter 4

**The Diary of A Lover: **

_Chapter 3- The First Half of Sophmore Year _

It was the first day back from summer vacation. And exactly two weeks since me and Gisele had kissed. I still couldn't get it out of my mind that we had kissed. Gisele was a pretty good looking girl, and as the days went on I knew that I was definitely harboring feelings for her. I mean who could hate her? She was smart, funny, beautiful, anything a guy like me could ever as for. As my papi pulled up to the front of the High School I sighed.

"You're going to have an amazing year Carlos…smile…" My dad said as he noticed my frown.

"I'm sorry I've been a little distracted lately…" I explained.

"Still having girl trouble huh?" He said.

"I don't know what to do papi…I mean I love both Jessica and Gisele…How am I ever supposed to choose between the two of them?" I sighed.

"Look mijo…listen to what your heart is telling you…Because it will always lead you to the right answer. Especially when it comes to love." He smiled.

"How can you be so sure papi?" I asked him curiously.

"Put it this way…If I never followed my heart, I would have never gotten together with your mami…" He winked.

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><p>The speech my papi had gave me in his police car had actually gave me some confidence. I needed to stop listening to my brain. I needed to decide on who I would personally be more happier with. Should I let Jessica be happy and be with Gisele? Or should I fight for the one girl who I wanted in the first place. I need to smash my head into a locker or something. All of this deep thinking I've been doing recently is not good for me or my mental health. I walked onto the second floor where all the sophomore lockers were normally kept. I smiled when I saw James at his locker.<p>

"Hey Jay…How was your trip to New York?" I asked. I haven't seen him for about a week now.

"It was interesting…Of course my dad hardly paid attention to me since he would rather be sucking face with his new wife…" James sighed.

"I'm sorry you have to go through that…Have you seen Jessica yet?" I asked him.

"Yeah Carlos…Me and Jessica broke up last night…" James admitted to me.

"You guys what?!" I shrieked. James you two were so perfect for each other…"How could you break up with her…"

"I just wasn't feeling the spark anymore dude…I fell out of love with her…" James stated.

"Oh and who are you in love with now?" I asked him.

"Promise me you won't kill me?" James said.

"Jay we're best friends…I could never kill you…" I said.

"I have feelings for Gisele…" James whispered.

"James…you can't be serious…" I said.

"Carlos is there something wrong with that?" James questioned.

"James…you just got out of a relationship…If you move on quickly Jessica will think of you as a selfish jerk who only cares about himself. "

"You have feelings for Gisele too don't you? I knew you were acting different for a reason. Ever since you two kissed…I knew you liked her…" James stated.

"I do like her James…And this time, I am not letting you win…" I said confidently.

"And what makes you think that Gisele will pick you over me?" James asked me.

"Because I'm a lot more better for her…" I said proudly.

"Really? Wanna bet on it?" James smirked.

"Fine. $40 to whoever Gisele decides to date…" I said while James shook my hand.

"You have no idea what you are getting yourself into…" James smirked.

"Oh I think I do…I'm saving a friend from your stupidity…" I fired back.

"I hate you so much right now Carlos Garcia…" James sneered.

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><p>I walked into my homeroom history class and was surprised to see both Gisele and Jessica were in my class. I sat beside Jessica since I thought she could use some comforting after what James did to her.<p>

"Hey…" I said.

"James tell you to come check up on me?" She asked through teary eyes.

"No…I just wanted to see how my best friend is doing after her heart got ripped into a billion pieces by that no good Diamond…" I smiled.

"Thanks for caring." She smiled.

"Of course…Hey why don't I buy you lunch today…You look like you could use some happiness in your life…" I offered as I wiped a tear away from her cheek.

"Thanks Carlos…" Jessica said as she hugged me tightly. "You know the truth is…I've really missed you…Ever since I started dating James I kind of put him first before you…" Jessica explained to me. "I was such an idiot to actually think that he would change…" Jessica sighed.

"Hey you can forget all about him now…" I said smiling. "Now we better stop talking before we get into big trouble…" I pointed out as the teacher walked in.

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><p>Throughout the next month me and James have been avoiding each other like the plague. I smiled to myself. Gisele had been turning down every single one of his advances over the month. I felt pretty confident that she wasn't going to date James. She had egged his house when Jessica told him about their harsh break up.<p>

"So how about that A we got on the photography project?" Gisele asked me as she opened the box of peperoni pizza we ordered.

"What can I say? I'm a skilled photographer…" I laughed.

"In your dreams. The only reason why we got that A was because of my awesome scrapbooking skills." Gisele shot back.

"You know I'm actually glad we're friends…" I smiled.

"Hey I'm actually happy that you talked to me that day in class. I was so close to convincing myself that I would not find any friends in this new high school." Gisele pointed out.

Me and Gisele were taken out of our little get together when someone rang the doorbell. I was kind of shocked since I wasn't expecting anyone else. And my parents were both out on their monthly date or something like that. I walked over towards the door and was shocked to find who was standing at the other side of the door.

"James what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out…" James said waling in.

"We haven't exactly been the best of friends this past month, so what makes you think that it's OK for you to walk in here all of a sudden…" I pointed out.

"You are not going to win her heart I will…" James whispered in my ear.

"James? What are you doing here?" Gisele asked him.

"I just wanted to hang out with my two best friends…" James said with a smile.

I hated that man. I absolutely hated him. I was supposed to make my first move tonight. But he had to ruin everything as usual. I just sat in the living room talking with Gisele. I caught James' look a couple of times. It was clear that he was extremely pissed at me. But I really didn't care anymore. I was going to win Gisele's heart no matter what.

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><p>Two months have passed and now it was officially Christmas. The entire gang was hanging out at the local coffee shop. We were all excited that there was only one more week of school left. James had left early because he needed to get to work. His mom had hired him as an interim at Diamond Cosmetics. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted him to run the family business when he was older. Now the rest of the gang was discussing who they were going to be taking to the Christmas Dance. Logan and Camille had just celebrated their one year anniversary and everyone knew that they were going together. As for Kendall, he was taking the new girl Amelia. Him and Jo had a nasty break up when sophomore year had started. Now I only had one mission. I wanted to ask Gisele to the dance. It was the only chance I had to convince her that I was better for her than James would ever be.<p>

"Hey Gisele can I talk to you?" I asked as the two of us were refilling our mugs with freshly made hot chocolate.

"Sure…" She smiled.

"Well the Christmas dance is coming up…" I pointed out.

"I know…" Gisele said.

"Well…If your not going with anyone…Would you like to go to the dance with me?" I asked.

"As friends or as a date?" Gisele smiled.

"As a date…" I gulped.

"You know something Carlos…I was waiting for you to ask me out…" Gisele smiled. "To tell you the truth, I had feelings for you since the kiss at the camping trip…" Gisele smiled.

"Thank God…" I sighed. I gave her a hug. As I looked over to our group of friends, I saw that Jessica was a little sad.

"By the way I'm glad your getting the $40.." Gisele whispered.

"You knew about that?" I asked.

"Yeah…I kind of figured it out when James kept hanging out with us…and I know your bets go up $10 per bet…" Gisele laughed.

"Huh…I can't wait to see James' face when I tell him that I got you to be my date to the Christmas dance."

"And by the way I'm happy you decided that you wanted to take me to the dance…" Gisele said as she went to hug me.

And in that moment, I think I truly understood what first love meant. When me and Gisele hugged, it was so warm and inviting. I never wanted to let go of her. Who would have thought that the biggest clown in school would be able to get a girlfriend? Well the two of us weren't official yet. But she did hug me. That has got to mean something.

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><p>Shocked was an understatement. James looked like he was just about to kill the living daylights out of me. First off, he was not happy that I walked in with Gisele. And second of all, he lost forty dollars. But not even James' selfish attitude could put a damper on my spirits. I was finally happy.<p>

"You know James looked like he was going to kill you earlier…" Gisele giggled.

"I know right? But it was all worth it…I got a girl out of it…" I smiled.

"You do know that we're not official yet right?" Gisele giggled.

"Well why don't we make it official?" I whispered in her ear.

"Is this a way of asking me to be your girlfriend? Because that is so cheesy…" Gisele laughed.

"Oh god you hate me now don't you? I knew I should have stopped by to buy you flowers…" I cursed to myself.

"Carlos…I would love to be your girlfriend…" She said as she helped me up.

"You mean it?" I whispered.

"Of course I do silly…Now come on…" Gisele said as she guided me towards the dance floor.

"You know this maybe the best Christmas holiday ever…" I whispered to her.

"I may have to agree with you on that…." Gisele said as she took my hand.

"I really want to kiss you right now…" I whispered to her.

"Then why don't you?" Gisele smirked.

I didn't need to be told any more. I slowly leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. I haven't kissed anyone like that before. I guess that my emotions took the best of me. I actually loved the feeling of Gisele kissing me. It made me forget about Jessica. It made me forget about my stupid crush on her. I think I'm finally moving on from everything.

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><p><strong>This story has made it's return...I will also be updating Worldwide, Generation Next, and Big Time Accident. I hope you guys read my newest story BFF-The Childhood years...I feel that it will be the most challenging story that I will write. Because I plan to write it as three separate stories and make it a series. <strong>

**All over Again will be updated in the New Year as I come up with ways to shake up the story and make it more interesting for you guys...keep on reading and most importantly review =) and Merry Christmas everyone  
><strong>


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